Sincerely, I understand the pressure for sex that singles go through.
There are many forces yelling and yearning for sex that come against
singles;
1.Your hormone get hungry for sex because of the
physiological changes your body go through from time to time. Its much
even stronger when you are in your ovulation season. For those who don’t
know, ovulation is when females produce eggs that are ready for
fertilisation by the male spermatozoa and ovulation usually takes place
between 7-12 days after the menstrual cycle if your monthly period is
regular.
2.It is tough when you are ‘due’ for marriage but yet
single. It is a different experience for those who have chosen to be
eunuchs (celibate) for the rest of their lives. At least you would have
counted the cost before deciding so. But not so for those who for no
choice of theirs are waiting for when God will bring their partner their
way and they can walk the aile with their God-given partner and
subsequently get sexual satisfaction from their spouses.
3.It is
tough when sex is the price you have to pay to sustain your
sex-demanding fellow single partner. When your partner (or both of you
don’t) does not even blush because you lack values and bereft of
Christian virtues, anything goes.
4.It is tough when sex is the
price you have to pay for promotion at your work place. If you happen to
work in a perverse work environment where sex is part of the KPI (Key
performance Index) considered for promotion, you got to be able to hold
your head when others have lost theirs. I pray God set you free from
bondage of such employers or bosses.
Also, if the following are your habit you will have a formidable pressure for sex to contend with;
A.
Habit of watching porn– If you are in the habit of watching blue films
(or porn films) you are sowing a very evil seed in your heart and in a
short time the seeds you sow will germinate into hormonal charge for
sex. What you watch will create an indelible picture in your heart and
in no time you want to begin to practise what your eyes have captured.
There is nothing bad with the internet or television, it is what we
watch or do with them that matter.
B.Habit of dressing
seductively-Your dress is a reflection of your person. Many female
singles wear clothes that present them as sex objects in the name of
fashion. You wear clothes that reveal your privates and you wonder why
‘’flies’’ follow you. One day a young lady told me; ‘’I can barely walk
any where without all kinds of guys throwing passes at me for affairs’’.
Well, I knew her well and I told her to change her clothes that often
pop up her cleavages and see if that experience will continue. Ofcourse
they stopped following her. The more attractive you present yourself,
the more you are under the pressure of people demanding sex from you.
C.Habit
of Touching each other– If you are in the habit of touching each other
seductively, then you will have temptation for sex to contend with.
Touching is the preliminaries to the main the main event (sex). Once you
participate in preliminaries, it may not be easy to say no to the ‘main
event’.
D.Habit of staying together for too long in a lonely
place– Its good to spend time together with your fiancee or fiance but
spend time together for the right reasons and not for the wrongest of
reasons.
Haven highlighted some of the sources of pressure for sex
that singles encounter, my focus in this piece is for those that fall in
category 1-3 above. How do you say no when your hormones are demanding
for sex and your Pastor kept drumming it in your ears that it is
fornication, as the Bible calls it? Does your Pastor know what you are
going through? Not sure if God also knows?
Friends, God knows what you are going through and that is why Apostle Paul says;
“But
I say to the unmarried and to the widows: It is good for them to remain
even as I am;but if they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry.
For it is better to marry than to burn with passion’’
1 Corinthians 7 Vs 8-9
Ok,
from above scripture, marriage seem to be the solution to burning with
passion right? But how do you hold yourself before you marry is what is
our subject. So, how do you say no?
HOW TO SAY NO
Let us look at practical things you can do that can help you to say no when your hormones say go;
1.Feed
Your mind– The greatest battle man face in life begins from the mind.
Our minds influence and inflame our thought and thought pattern.
Subsequently thought becomes action and action become habits. The mind
is 100% gabbage in gabbage out!
There two types of mind that operates in every human being;
1.The
Carnal Mind– If you are yet to be regenerated, that is, you are yet to
believe in the Lordship of Jesus, your mind will be carnal.
This is
mind that is set on the things of the flesh. When you live according to
the dictates of your flesh and hormones you have a carnal mind. And a
carnal mind leads to only one place, DEATH- Romans 8 Vs
2.The
Spiritual Mind– This is the mind available to those who live on the
things of the Spirit. What are the things of the Spirit? Having a
functional relationship with God will give one an insight into what God
wants and how by His help we can fulfil God’s plans. God’s plans are
written in His Word in the Bible. An understanding of what God wants and
what Christ lived and died for will help fine tune ones spirit to focus
on the things of the spirit. If you focus on the things of the Spirit
you will have a spiritual mind and ultimately have life and peace-
Romans 8 Vs 6-7
The Spiritual mind serve the law of God while the Carnal mind serve the law of sin- Romans 7 Vs 25
All
kinds of conflict will be going round and round your mind if you have
not given your life to Jesus and you have not matured through the Help
of the Holy Spirit. So, you need to surrender your life to Jesus by
accepting Jesus as your personal Lord and Saviour and then form the
habit of feeding your mind with the Word of God as regularly as
possible.
1.Feed Your spirit– After you have given your life to
Jesus by accepting Him as your Lord and Savior, you need to feed your
spirit regularly with the Word of God and by constant fellowship. Oh
dear, you got to stop this your Sunday Sunday reading of the Bible. You
got to form the habit of reading your Bible as regularly as possible.
Man (and woman) dies first spiritually before physical death. Physical
death is when your heart stops pumping blood, spiritual death is when
your spirit is no longer in sync over time with the Holy Spirit! While
physical death can be sudden or gradual. Spiritual death is usually
gradual!
‘’For when we were in the flesh, the sinful passions which
were aroused by the law were at work in our members to bear fruit to
death. But now we have been delivered from the law, having died to what
we were held by, so that we should serve in the newness of the Spirit
and not in the oldness of the letter’’Romans 7 Vs 5-6
‘’And those who
are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. If
we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit’’Galatians 5 Vs
24-25
Everytime you are online and you go and read gossips and all
kinds of websites or blogs that pollute your mind and spirit, you are
not helping your Spiritual growth. That is why you think sex and indulge
in sex even when some of you don’t want to!
1.Avoid staying too
long together in a lonely place and at odd times-Yes you are in
courtship. Yes your family know the two of you together. Yes everybody
know the two of you together but the truth is that both of you are not
yet couple. So, you cannot indulge in what God approved for couples. The
more you avoid staying together in a lonely place and at odd times, the
more you are able to avoid fornication!
2.Dress well– My dear,
dress like a Christian that you profess to be. These your revealing tops
often send a wrong message about your person and your intention. Stop
visiting your fiance and wearing clothes that are seductive. Men
(without self-control) are moved by what they see!
3.Keep your
courtship short– It is common practise that some people in marriage
intended relationship go through long courtship. This long courtship
sometimes is self-imposed because you want to have a talk of the town
wedding, you keep your courtship long while working out the wedding
finance. It is not advisable that your courtship exceed 6 months for
people who just knew each other and 3 months for those who have known
each other over a considerable long time. The longer your courtship, the
stronger the temptation for sex!
4.Deliberately Keep yourself
Busy– The busier you are the less you think of sex. When better positive
things occupy your mind, you have less time to consider the dictations
of your hormones.
Friends, happy are you if you take to these golden
advise in the above write-up. God did not forbid sex for mankind. It is
who we do it with and when, that we should watch!
Source:
http://adegboyegailori.com/singles-and-sex-how-do-i-say-no-when-my-hormones-say-go/